Girls day

Kaylee and I have been planning a day to hang out-a mommy/daughter day- over spring break. It got postponed because of Noah getting sick, but today we finally had our day together and what a day we had! We started by dropping the little man off with my mom and heading to the mall. Kaylee had a Build-A-Bear gift card that was burning a hole in her pocket. We did a little shopping. Kaylee picked On The Border for lunch-YUM! After lunch, we did pedicures and Kaylee had her nails painted too, which will be perfect for her and Noah's Easter pictures tomorrow. After nails and toes, we did a little more shopping then headed to pick up our little man. We had a great day together. I love you so much, Kaylee Girl!

Beautiful day

With the 70 degree weather, Kaylee, Noah, and I headed to the park on Tuesday evening. Kaylee took along her bike, which she is doing so great riding. We played on the playground and then walked the trail. Along the walk, I decided to take some pictures with our new camera and stopped by the geese. I wasn't paying attention and heard Noah just wimpering a bit, turned around, and he was laying on the sidewalk! Yes, you read it right, laying face down on the sidewalk (how he ended up on his belly I still have yet to figure out). I realized at that point that I had forgotten to strap him back in to the stroller after being at the playground. Poor little guy, had a 103 degree temperature the day before on his 6 month birthday, and then scrapes his face the next day on the sidewalk at the park. But he is so tough, he only cried for about 20 seconds and then was fine. So give me the award for "Worst Mom of the Day" for Tuesday. Here are just a few pics of fun time.

Riding away from us...bye Kaylee!

Before the fall, but not feeling the best. Poor Noah.

Spring breakin'

3 years

Three years since Maddi went to be with Jesus. Madelin Kennedy Pierce, 3 years old, was my niece.

It's hard to believe...sometimes it seems like it was three decades ago and sometimes it seems like it happened three seconds ago.

It was a day forever etched in my mind. Sometimes I don't even remember what happened yesterday. But this day...was different.

I remember every conversation I had, every phone call I received and made, each prayer I prayed-pleading for God to spare her life.

And I remember walking down the hospital hallway getting ready to enter the PICU. I could see Shane and Amy through the window on the double doors and knew when I walked through those doors my life would be forever changed. I paused for several minutes not wanting to hear the news I could see written on their faces.

I remember falling to my knees when I did get the news as I walked into the family area. I remember my brother picking me up off the floor. My brother, the one who just lost his precious baby-picked me up.

I remember having to tell my sister and my other brother the news of her death. I remember talking to my dad in New Zealand who was trying to catch an airplane to get home to be with his family. I remember the despair in his voice.

I remember driving home from the hospital with my mom, feeling numb and in disbelief, and knowing that I had a little girl waiting at home, her best friend. I had to figure out a way to tell Kaylee, just three years old, that Maddi went to be with Jesus and we wouldn't see her on this earth anymore. You see, Kaylee and Maddi spent at least one day a week together, if not two. My mom, the rock that she is, helped me figure out how to tell her, and we told her together. I remember watching Kaylee's three-year-old mind trying to understand something that I, at 26, couldn't even understand. It broke my heart even further.

I remember the many moments of sadness, anger, helplessness, emptiness, that followed and the many many questions I had for God.

But that is not the end of the story.

I also remember my brother telling me after her service of people that had written or called or shared with them that their life had been changed because of Maddi's death. Some people rededicated their life to Christ. One person I can remember, in particular, came to Christ for the first time. Praise God!

I had the privilege, and I do call it a privilege, of watching Shane and Amy walk the road of grief. Because they didn't attempt to walk it alone, they allowed God to walk beside them. They amazed me. They still amaze me. They were/are so transparent and real. Many times we prayed as a family when any one of us felt we could no longer carry on. There were many moments of this. The bond between each of us grew. I praise God for this family he gave me here on this earth. We have shared many moments of joy since, in particular, the new lives that God has brought into our family.

So today, I can say my life is forever changed by what happened on March 13, 2006. I'm not one who believes and you won't hear me say that "everything will work out ok" because I've seen where in my life, several times, it hasn't. But I do know that even when it doesn't, God will be there if you call on His name. He is just waiting. I can testify that God is who He says He is and will be our ever-present help in times of trouble. I still don't know or understand His plan or ways many times, and I have endured many trials since. But I still trust Him. Because when we were at our lowest of lows, He met us there. And He carried us.

I leave you with this verse and a few pictures of her final moments here on earth. What I wouldn't give to see a glimpse of her in heaven...


"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

A favorite picture of her with Sophie.

One of the final pictures taken.

Precious angel.

be my valentine...

Kaylee's school valentine party was Wednesday. The kids are out of school Thursday-Monday for conferences and President's Day. Kaylee got so many cute cards (60 to be exact!) Noah loved watching all the first graders...he just stared at all the kids and took it all in. Happy Valentines Day!

Update on the Major

Well, just a little update on how Robbie is doing in Qatar. Let's just say, this going to be a "challenging" four months for him. He lives in a 10x10 room with no bathroom or sink nearby. He has to walk to another building to get water. He has to walk to an even further building to take a shower. He is scheduled to be working from 6am-6pm, which really means 7:30 or 8pm. Tonight it was 10pm. He is very tired when he gets home and still has to be working on his online masters class. He also has a very "interesting" commander that makes life at work...difficult.

If you have any interest in sending Robbie a little card or package or even an email to lift his spirits, please contact me and I'll get you his info. He can use any bit of encouragement. Please uplift him in prayer as well!

baby Cora

Met Jesus today. Please pray for her family. The pain they are feeling is all too familiar. Although I have not lost a child of my own, the loss of my niece, Maddi, changed myself and many others, forever. It's amazing how God can use tragedy to bring Him glory and bring people to the foot of the cross. May God use this loss to do exactly that.

on my knees...

I write to you with a heavy heart this morning. I do not know this family personally, but I know the uncle of the baby girl I am writing about. I suppose my feelings are amplified by the fact that I have a baby at home and can't imagine the pain her parents are feeling. She is critically ill with neuroblastoma and the cancer is all over her tiny body. She is 10 months old. Her name is Cora and she is precious. The situation has turned dire overnight and I am asking that you get on your knees with me to pray to our Creator, HEALER, and Sustainer for this precious baby. It appears that it's going to take a miracle for her life to be spared, but we all know that Jesus performs miracles.

You can follow her blog at this address: http://themcclenahans.blogspot.com/